Asterix Reds 1 USJ 0 (Cup)

Not a classic, but a deserved 1-0 win with Jonesy incredibly scoring with his penis in the last minute of the game. I kid you not, he 'knobbed' it in the back of the onion bag. The rest of the game can be described as a battle. I can never compare sport to the trenches of WW1, but we got a very small taster of what it may have been like today. I myself am nursing trench foot at this very moment. It was a quagmire in the first half, and we were playing against a team that will undoubtedly be in the top flight in a couple of seasons. Ian Quirk got a deserved MOM as he battled like a trojan in the centre of the park and POM, well, this is contentious. I mean Keith fell down the stairs at the start of the game which got the ball rolling. Then there was Jonesy, auditioning for a part as a German Infantry soldier getting shot in the second half, Sweeney for his kick off in the first half etc etc etc. However, a man that was not even there today gets the nod. Mr Stu Cavens for giving the excuse of not coming to the game as he was shopping with his gay interior designer.
Last but not least, do you remember that Orangutan that very kindly took the place of one of the linesmen in that match many moons ago. Well, he turned up again today and brought his mate with him who very kindly offered to referee the game as the actual ref had to pull out.